


Six of Wands

by mintcloud



Series: Arcanas [7]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23900332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintcloud/pseuds/mintcloud
Summary: Ryeowook fell from grace as Jongwoon proceeded to get more popular each passing day.
Relationships: Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Kim Ryeowook
Series: Arcanas [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1424638
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	Six of Wands

**Author's Note:**

> first angsty drabble for this series, hope you guys like it.
> 
> decided to put my max word count up to 2k bcs i realized 1k will be too little (2k might still be too little with the upcoming ones i have planned but we'll see)

Ryeowook and Jongwoon met at the same company as trainees. They got along the second they met. Ryeowook had looked up to Jongwoon as a singer since the start. They went from helping each other debut to a lovely friendship that lead to a romantic relationship. 

Ryeowook felt as if he was on cloud nine, things went smoothly and soon after; Jongwoon debuted as a soloist. Ryeowook was always there for him, trying to cheer him on before and during shows, giving his best to be the most supportive despite their busy schedules. He had promised Jongwoon to stand on stage with him together one day, once he debuts, but that day never came.

Ryeowook was left alone, all other trainees debuting left and right. Jongwoon's gotten so busy that he can't get any free time with him anymore. Ryeowook was left alone.

Days seemed to drag on for longer as his debut date got pushed farther behind. Jongwoon managed to find a blank spot in his schedule and decided to meet up with Ryeowook. Finally, after long exhausting days of training, Ryeowook had something to look forward to. He got ready, feeling excited, to see his boyfriend again and rant over his exhausting life in hopes Jongwoon would spoil him with some hugs and kisses. But when he met Jongwoon, his eyes were colder than the dead night. The usual smile and happiness he'd show Ryeowook- and only Ryeowook -was gone. It was over.

He didn't explain why and Ryeowook didn't have the chance to ask him about it either as he walked away into the cold starry night leaving Ryeowook alone teary-eyed as the cold wind freezes his skin.

Ryeowook's life had changed drastically without Jongwoon by his side. The days seemed to drag on longer as Ryeowook's training experience became worse and worse. Yesung would thrive on national tv and no matter where he looked, he would always find Jongwoon's face. All the calls and text messages resulted in nothing, Jongwoon had completely ignored him. 

A friend of Ryeowook's had introduced him to something he called a 'happy pill'. Though it was less of a pill and more of a syringe with some odd substance in it, but Ryeowook took interest in it nonetheless. He had felt some pain at first but it hadn't lasted long. 

Ryeowook understood why his friend called it a happy pill and he couldn't help but want more of it. He wouldn't have a care in the world while high. He didn't worry about his debut or Jongwoon, life was fine the way it is, or at least until the effects of the drug wore off. 

He broke down crying. Life was unfair, he deserved so much more. He deserved love like Jongwoon got it and he deserved an explanation. Yet he got nothing.

Weeks later, the company kicked him out for being a drug addict. Ryeowook wasn't addicted to drugs, he lived in his own fantasy world where life was better. That's not a drug addiction, at least not to him. He was getting short on money, he didn't have a job. Used to rely on Jongwoon who gained enough to make them both live happily. That was until he broke up, moved out of their shared apartment and left Ryeowook alone. Ryeowook couldn't afford such a place so he moved and sold all their furniture. But it wasn't enough to pay for his  _ lifestyle  _ and if he needs to live in a house without electricity and warm water, then so be it.

Ryeowook doesn't remember the last time he had a meal. Was it two days ago? Or three? Maybe even last week? He hasn't left his house in a while, he had no clock and the roller shutter were always down as his eyes had started to become sensitive of the sun. His stomach was growling. He didn't have any food at home, wasted all the money on some new drugs. He had begged his parents and friends for more but they refused to give him anything. Threw him away like everyone else had done in his life until now. Tears welled in his eyes. He shook his head, he couldn't cry now. Not again when the tear tracks on his face from before haven't dried yet. 

He looks at the syringe lying on the floor in front of him and he grabs it with shaky hands. The syringe falls on the floor before he can bring it to his arm. He has no power left in him anymore. He watches as the syringe rolls away from him. He feels defeated. Nothing can help him now.

An irritable ringing from his doorbell wakes him up. He's been sleeping a lot more recently now with nothing but worry by his side. He didn't dream though, and he was happy he didn't.

The ringing kept on going as he walked towards the door and opened it. He hadn't expected to see Jongwoon stand in front of the door worried. Ryeowook tries to close the door but Jongwoon's fast and stops him with his hand. Just as Ryeowook had thought he got over him, Jongwoon has to show up and throw all that hard work of forgetting him down the drail. 

Jongwoon let go of the bouquet of flowers Ryeowook hadn't even realized he'd been holding and puts his hands on Ryeowook's shoulder.

"Ryeowook, what happened? Why are you..." Ryeowook looks down to the floor avoiding Jongwoon's gaze. Jongwoon places his hand on Ryeowook's cheek, trying to make him look at him but Ryeowook shakes it away.

"What are you doing here?" Ryeowook tries to sound cold and he almost would've if his voice didn't crack, making him sound like he's at the verge of tears (which he might as well be).

"I wanted to apologize... Ryeowook I'm-" Jongwoon's words stop abruptly as he glances around the room. "Is this where you live?"

"What about it?" Ryeowook scoffs, "You left, haven't you?"

"Yes..." Jongwoon looks to the floor with a sigh. "Listen, Ryeowook. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to break up with you. The company made me do it-"

Ryeowook let's out a small, disappointed laugh. "So the company is more important than me?"

"What? No!" Jongwoon shook his head and placed his hands on Ryeowook's shoulders again. "I had no choice."

"Because you treasure your career more than me. Isn't that right?" Ryeowook shook of Jongwoon's hands from him and took a few steps back, finally looking up to him. Jongwoon's eyes were filled with sorrow as he stared at Ryeowoook. His lips quivering, debating on what to say to Ryeowook and in the end, he said nothing. "I knew it, you don't care."

Ryeowook walks towards him, wanting to close the door but Jongwoon grabs his arm quickly. A syringe drops out of Ryeowook's thick coat that he had been wearing as Jongwoon holds his hand high up.

"What's that?" Jongwoon asks as he looks at the fallen object.

"Nothing that concerns you!" Ryeowook tries to stop Jongwoon from grabbing it but he's too slow. Jongwoon kneels down to get the syringe and looks at it with shook before standing up straight again.

"Ryeowook, what is this?" Jongwoon looks at the syringe in his hand and then back at Ryeowook. His unkempt hair, bloodshot eyes and thin frame were even more worrying for Jongwoon now than before. 

Jongwoon drops the syringe and walks up to Ryeowook, only to get pushed away by him. "Like I said! It's nothing! Don't concern yourself with my affairs!" Ryeowook shouts at him, his body visibly shaking.

"Why shouldn't I be concerned? Ryeowook, you're using drugs. Look at yourself, you're addicted."

"It's not drugs!" Ryeowook shouts at him. Taking more steps back as he continues to shake his head. "It's.... not..."

It's useless. Ryeowook knows that he's using drugs, it's no use denying it. He doesn't want to admit to it or else everyone would see him as a drug addict. And he especially doesn't want Jongwoon too see him as one, but it's too late now.

Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes as his legs gave up under him. His hands formed into fists as Jongwoon kneeled in front of him to be at the same eye level. "It's all your fault." Ryeowook voice breaks out into a whisper.

"If you hadn't left- then i-" Tears were now spilling from Ryeowook's eyes as he hiccuped his words. He tried to wipe his tears away but he couldn't stop crying at all. Jongwoon pulled him into a tight hug, placing his head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry. I never intended to-" Jongwoon's voice broke off as he buried his head into Ryeowook's shoulder even more. Jongwoon's body shuddered and Ryeowook could feel tear droplets fall on his shoulder. "I never wanted to break up with you."

"The company forced me to. They were threatening to kick you out and I knew how much you wanted to debut so I couldn't let them do it." Ryeowook stopped crying as Jongwoon explained everything to him in a shaky voice. "I heard you left, everything I did turned out to be for nothing. I knew I had to visit you. because I still love you. Never stopped."

"I didn't respond to you, because I knew if I did I'd miss you even more. I'm so sorry Ryeowook."  Jongwoon broke out in another crying fit as he hugged Ryeowook tighter. Ryeowook sat there, deep in thought while listening to Jongwoon's sobs. "This is all my fault, if only... I had been there for you. I'm so sorry." Jongwoon lifts his head to look at Ryeowook's tearstained face. "I know my apology isn't the best, and I'll totally understand if you won't accept it. But please, don't take these anymore, don't do this to yourself."

"I'm not sure if I can-"

"Just try. You deserve much better than this. Please, don't do this to yourself." Ryeowook lowered his head, he couldn't look at Jongwoon. It broke his heart seeing the older crying over him.  He nodded quickly and whispered a small ' _I'll try_ ' that Jongwoon almost didn't catch. Ryeowook looked at Jongwoon. Tears were still flowing down his cheeks, but he was smiling. 

"How about I take you to my place? It' cold here." Jongwoon says, trying to change the topic as he wipes off his last few tears.

"Yeah, that's because I couldn't afford the heating bill."

Jongwoon chuckled sadly. "Of course you couldn't." He said, looking at Ryeowook without breaking his smile. "Come on, let's go. We can talk there if you want." Jongwoon stood up and reached out his hand towards Ryeowook, which he happily accepted. They walked out of the apartment, never letting go of each other's hand.

**Author's Note:**

> don't do drugs kids.
> 
> six of wands;  
> upright: public recognition, victory, progress, self-confidence  
> reversed: egotism, disrepute, lack of confidence, fall from grace


End file.
